My World Ends On A Regular Basis
Why do I seem so naturally inclined to fuck things up? This isn't the first time this has happened. My heart swells with joy and happiness, then like a deflated balloon it's all gone and I'm left anguished, sad, and alone. It's like I'm walking in a dreary, grey, lonely city with crack-lined sidewalks and trash dotting the landscape and I'm stumbling through the streets with tears in my eyes when suddenly I come across a beautiful flower that's sneaking through one of the cracks in the sidewalk and I crush it, destroying it and smearing the color from the petals all over the cold concrete. Then my heart burns and bleeds through a thousand wounds. I find strange comfort in Dracula's words (1931). I'm still young and foolish and my heart can break a hundred more times before I'm cold and bitter, but with each passing heartache I grow more disillusioned and lose a little more warmth, and the fires of self-destruction continue to burn within me like a furnace fueling my worn and battered spirit. Red rose or black rose, no in between. I blindly grasp for a life vest so I won't drown in the everyday nothingness that the rest of the world is sinking in. I cling to the "sensible image of the infinite" and hope (hah!) that things will get better, but they probably won't, and Dracula was probably right. If it were to fall upon you today, which flower would you be, the red rose or the black? I'm sick of carrying around this bouquet of dead flowers.
On another note, I'm considering shutting this blog down. I don't see how it's helping anybody or communicating anything of worth. Unless there are some compelling reasons why I shouldn't, consider this my last post.
Please do not close your blog.
ReplyDeleteWhat's It All Mean? is proof that the artistic work one does not hear about may just be the one that has more merit. If nothing else, it is worth reading to see a blogger spilling their guts out that excels.
Your blog is a source of continuing inspiration.My favorite entry is Kill the Hope
Are you there our.tragic.beauty.
ReplyDeleteIn the The Enduring Vanity entry you say "P.S. Does anyone out there even read this?"
I do.If this is your last post than so long.Hope things go your way.This is my favorite blog.It's dark sensitive and emotional.
It's great to have been connected to such an amazing blog.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe this could be the end
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to have read your blog.Hope you conker your demons.
ReplyDeleteGod I get to read a cool blog and now your gone.I feel a little dead inside now.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of girl would give up a treasure like you?
ReplyDeleteMy world ended just now.Goodbye our.tragic.beauty.
ReplyDeleteHey our tragic beauty.Have you heard that song If You Go Away by Emiliana Torrini.That sums up how i feel about you shutting your blog down.
ReplyDeleteNow that your gone I appreciate your blog more.
ReplyDeleteIt's true what they say.You don't really know what it is you have until it's gone.Never to come back.
Hey tragic I don't mean to sound mean but since your approving comments.Why not come back.If you won't I'll understand.You moving on to bigger and better things.
ReplyDeleteI heard about your blog on StuffBlackPeopleDontLike.Long time reader first time poster.
Come back tragic.Please don't make me beg
ReplyDeleteYou are like a 9 inch nail Beauty. Downward spiral. The good thing about being at the bottom is you can always pick yourself up.
ReplyDeleteI'm really amazed at all the feedback I've received. It feels good to know that the site has had an impact on some real people, and that alone is compelling enough for me. Thanks for all your comments. Consider me back.
ReplyDeleteWhen you think you can’t go on, give it another try.Believing in yourself sets you free.It's good to have you back Tragic.
ReplyDeleteour.tragic.beauty how about doing a blog about Thanksgiving.Welcome back.The internet didn't feel the same without you.
ReplyDeleteJust thinking about you, and how stupid I was
ReplyDeletefor thinking and dreaming that you were not going to return.
what Dracula line are you quoting?
ReplyDeleteDracula: "To die, to be really dead, that must be glorious!"
ReplyDeleteMina: "Why, Count Dracula?"
Dracula: "There are far worse things awaiting man than death."